The Case for the Selfless Race

One of the things you often hear about running is that it is an individual sport and for the most part, I agree. On race day, victory or defeat lies solely in your own legs and mind. There's no pitcher to throw a strike out, no quarterback to rely on for a miracle toss, no goalie to make the amazing save. Just you, your body, and your brain to get it done.

I've spent the better part of 2018 focused on my own running goals: in March, my first trail half; in April, a half marathon PR; and last weekend, a PR and 15 minute BQ at Monumental Marathon. 

All gave me a huge feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, but none hold a candle to this past weekend when, for the second time, I had the privilege to pace the 2:00:00 group at the Richmond Half Marathon.

You see, while running is indeed an individual sport, there is no denying that along the way, we all get help from others. From training partners, from coaches, from family, from other runners we meet on race day, and from random strangers who we see for 2 seconds on a course as we run by. And many people look to a pacer to help settle their nerves and guide them to a personal best, a Boston Qualifer a first time finish at a certain distance. 

I won't ever forget Stuart - the amazing pacer who helped me to my redemption BQ at Wrightsville Marathon in 2016. It is no exaggeration for me to say that without him, I wouldn't have done it. And in large part, he is the one who inspired me to try my own hand at pacing.

Arriving to the corral wearing a pacer shirt, you feel a huge responsibility to the people around you. These people are pinning their hopes on you and putting their trust in a complete stranger to help them achieve goals that in many cases, they set months and months ago and have been working toward since. 

Corral DA with fellow pacers Kevin and Eric

Weirdly, for me, the weight of responsibility to others is energizing. I can't pace myself worth a damn, but when I know there is a group of runners relying on me, it is a whole different story. It's almost freeing to not be inside my own head, worried about my own performance. My only thoughts are centered around what can I do to make sure these guys achieve what they want to today. How can I help distract them when they're struggling; how can I make sure they keep going; what self-depreciating story can I tell to make them laugh and forget that they're running; what can I say to inspire them to push that much harder in the last two miles? How can I give them the confidence to keep going?

This year, we had a large group of strong runners with us. We spent the first miles setting the comfortable easy pace, telling jokes, learning about the runners with us, handing out advice both serious and silly (serious: look at at the ground right in front of you when you're going up a hill instead of at the top of the hill. silly: alternatively, pick a pace booty in front of you to stare at instead.)

Mile 3 along Broad Street

As we made our way through the course, my fellow pacer Eric and I could sense that we had some really strong runners with us who were capable of picking it up for the last two miles. We conferred with our other two group leaders and they agreed to keep even for the 1:59:30 target while Eric and I would drop the anvil at mile 11 and take whoever was feeling good with us. 

I ended up with a half marathon virgin Jay, who I had been checking on like a mother hen throughout the race, and a group of about 5 more who dropped the pace in a big way. As I did last year I collected more runners as I went, encouraging all those around me to push it to the sub-2:00 - maybe a bit too enthusiastically as I was too busy yelling at everyone else to watch my feet and stepped in a pothole around mile 12 on Grace Street. I nearly bit the pavement, but recovered thank goodness.

As we flew down the 5th Street hill to the finish, nothing was more exhilarating than watching my runners cross that line in 1:56 and change. And nothing better than the sweaty hugs, high fives, and first bumps from dozens who came through as I waited for Eric, Sonja, and Kevin with the main body of the group to come through. So many thrilled as they finished their first, or PRd in a huge way. 

What an honor to play a small part in helping them get there. 

What freedom and joy to get out of my head and run for others.

Post race with fellow pacer Kevin. Success!

Rebooting

2017. What a weird year of unfinished business. Both of my marathons were decided long before I started training for them; holdovers from 2016 that took 18 months to put to bed. 

After the disaster of Boston, it took me a long while to get my groove back. Until Labor Day weekend, to be exact. It was that weekend when the second toenail on my right foot - which had gotten damaged during Boston - finally gave up the ghost and fell off. And with that toenail, a lot of the weird baggage that I'd been carrying around about my failure in Boston seemed to finally take a hike too. 

(Yes, I realize that sounds completely crazy.)

Going into Marine Corps, I felt good. The goal was a 3:35, which based on how the last two months of training went, should have been achievable. Unfortunately, just like in Boston, the day was warm. Things started out ok but everything came apart at mile 20 on the overpass from hell. I submit that the last 10k of MCM is the most miserable 10k in all of marathoning. I held it together better than I had in Boston and finished in 3:52:26. Another disappointing race in 2017. That race is a one and done for me. 

After that, Kit and I toyed with the idea of going to Delaware in early December to run the Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon. Neither of us was happy with Marine Corps and wanted redemption. We made a deal that if we could run 18 miles at race pace at the end of November, we'd do Delaware  and we did it. But barely. The thought of running 8 more miles at that pace seemed impossible for both of us and the last thing either of us needed was yet another disappointing marathon in 2017. So we didn't run Delaware and for the next month +, we kind of putzed around aimlessly with no plan. 

No plan meant no motivation. No motivation meant a lot of hitting snooze on the alarm clock and not running. I was burnt out and uninspired.

So, I made the decision that I was not going to run a marathon in the spring of 2018 - the first time I haven't run a spring marathon since I started marathoning. Instead, I decided to focus on the half marathon - tackling my first trail half in March and then focusing on a road half PR in April.

Per usual, Kit joined me in the adventure and we created a blended 14 week training plan that included long runs on the trails until the trail half, gradually building in speed and tempo road work then shifting to all roads in the 5 weeks between the races.

It took me a while to get my groove on the trails. I'm not by nature a great trail runner; I am cautious with my footing and not confident enough to let loose and go, especially on downhills. For the first few miles I am completely a mess and out of my element; by mile 5ish I finally settle in. It took a solid month for me to start to gain confidence and feel like I was making good time on trails. The great thing about the hybrid plan that we were running is that after a weekend on the trails, we felt like we were flying on the roads.

At the beginning of March we ran a small trail race called the Solar 10 Miler. The weather was beautiful, the field was relatively small, and the trails were not terribly technical. After holding back for the first 4 miles, I turned it on and ended up finishing as the first woman, 10th overall. It was a fantastic confidence booster going into the my half marathon - the Pocahontas Trail Fest on March 17. 

The race is held at Pocahontas State Park, which is nearby and where Kit and I had spent most of our trail time. We had done a dress rehearsal of the course a few weeks before, so I knew exactly what to expect. The first four miles are spent running around a lake, with some gentle hills. After a long uphill at 5, the race plateaus essentially until the last mile when you enter a very hilly and more technical single track section. 

My primary goal was to finish in under 2 hours. After the dress rehearsal I realized that that goal was probably a bit too conservative, so in my head I aimed for a 1:50 and a hopefully a top three in my age group. 

What I ended up with was a 1:46:56, 5/79 women, 15th overall, and 3rd in my AG. I was very very happy with that finish and with how I ran the race in general. I learned a lot about myself as a trail runner; primarily that my biggest weakness is downhills and that I can really open up on the flats and make up ground. Typically there aren't many flats in trail running so obviously I need to work on those downhills. 

I also learned that while trails can be fun, I am a road warrior at heart. So, I've been happy to be back on the streets for the past few weeks, really pushing with some tough tempo, speed workouts, and fast long runs. All of the trail training has translated into strength and speed on the roads; I am running faster and with less effort than ever before. For the first time ever, I successfully completed a 3 x 1600 speed workout hitting every single target, and because this is half marathon training, the target was lower than ever before too.

There have been rough weekends when all of my friends are out running marathons, BQing, and setting PRs. Watching all of their achievements makes me itchy to run a marathon. But I don't regret taking the spring off from a marathon training cycle and focusing on new things instead. I needed the break - physically and mentally. 

Now, having just completed the toughest week of the training cycle and with two unofficial training run half marathon PRs under my belt, I'm feeling confident and looking forward to my half marathon PR attempt on April 22. 

You might also I've revamped ye olde blog. I thought maybe a new look and new title would help me get my writing mojo back, much like a new goal has helped me in my running.